I'm contemplating and mulling over the Challenge Kari proposed for each of us. I don't want to do it because it focuses on ME. But I suppose a challenge isn't always something you WANT to do but NEED to do. The reasons are easy kids, hubby, health, to feel better about self.... typical laundry list. But when it comes to the excuses I just have one ME. As hard as it is to admit "out loud" or to actual people other than me my main excuse is I just don't like me. SO I am trying to get over the mental blocks of the unworthiness and undisservingness that keeps coming up in my mind. Another excuse is laziness. I'm just lazy which ties in to my isolation of being a mom of 4 and no "real friendships" outside of that.
I know these excuses are just that. I know all the "proper" textbook answers as to why I NEED to get healthier and lose weight. I know my kids disserve to have mom that they will be proud of instead of embarrassed by her looks. I know My Hubby totally disserves me to be a better me. And yes even deep down I know I NEED me to be a better me.
So I am going to try to focus on my kids and hubby and who I need to be for them. I can always do for them what I cannot or will not do for myself.
Just so you know I am not the person to pour out my inner thought of me so easily so I am fighting with myself to actually post this. If I didn't personally know a few of you in the comp it'd be easier.
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1 comments:
You are a brave woman to post the challenge!! I did it, but am too scared to post it. Acknowledging that YOU are just as important as the family around you can be scary. I know all too well how easy it is to lose your own identity in the name of being a mother and wife. Just remember-YOU ARE WORTH IT!
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